Mother’s Day

I have always wanted a large family, but I haven’t been able to conceive with more children and my body is aching for more. I know I am suppose to have more, but when? I know it is in the Lord’s time when these things will happen. It is extremely hard to watch friends announce pregnancies and I am still not pregnant while watching them show off their baby 9 months later.  I am trying to stay strong and trying to look at my trials as blessings instead of hard times. I hope one day I can be holding a sweet baby{ies} in my arms and watch Ryker love and teach his new sibling{s} as well.

As I was getting Ryker ready for church, I felt an over whelming love for him.  I love him more than words can say. I am so blessed to have this little guy in my life. Going through infertility is frustrating, sad, and heart breaking, but I know it would be so much harder if I didn't have this little guy to hold when I am feeling down. This Mother’s Day was extra special as I reflected on how much I love having him here with me and how nothing else matters.

Sunday I got spoiled. Dave forgot to wrap by preset from Ryker and said, “wait in the bedroom while Ryker and I wrap your present.” A few minutes later Ryker’s sweet voice yells, “mommy ready for you.” I went into Ryker’s room and he says while sitting on his bed, “mommy will you read me this book at bed time?” They gave me  Thomas S. Monson's book, "One little Match". They also picked out some beautiful flowers.  “Mommy I picked flowers in all the colors you wanted”.

These hugs are by far my favorite thing in the world.

Thank you Ryker for loving me back when I felt I didn’t need to be loved, Thank you for giving me kisses and hugs at the right moment, Thank you for making me laugh and smile when I am just about to cry, Thank you for being such a strong boy that can handle being the only child, and Thank you for being here on earth so I can hold, kiss and laugh with you. I absolutely love being your mother.